this is the fashion police! step away from the ugly clothes and come out appropriately attired.

September 2, 2004 — Leave a comment

i live in Nashville; which aside from the cowboy chic and the usually bad fashion sense of college students dressing themselves away from home for the first time; seems to have a pretty well defined sense of style.

i haven`t had very many scary moments since i`ve been here and that`s good. i however get a sense once you pass a certain size, clothing manufacturers believe that your sense of style is superseded by an overwhelming desire to hide your; obviously disgusting, quivering; flesh in whatever is closest at hand. that is the only explanation that passes for the hideous, overpriced monstrosities that pass for big and tall clothing.

i have this problem with pants. it`s damn near impossible for me to find a pair of pants that fit. i`ve said this before and i will say it until my dying day, i have a huge ass, i inherited it from my mother and passed it on to my children. all the weight i`ve gained in the last eight years have accumulated on my stomach; front not sides; and proportionally on my ass, although for it`s size and mass, it`s still quite firm.

i have a couple of jeans, some pants and suit that fits well. the pants and the jeans are from old navy, yet strangely when i went back to the store, tried on the same size and style they no long fit. i have eventually settled for some generic pants i picked up in target. they fit, but only if i`m standing or sitting, in motion there is a strange pucker in the crotch that is more embarrassing than obscene. i may just have to resort to getting measured and having my tailor reproduce the best fitting pair of pant i own, which he incidentally made.

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