i had to get out of the apartment today. it was driving me insane. i got up early this morning, did a few laps in the pool, came back upstairs made breakfast, sorted out the mailbox on my computer and it was only 10am.

i couldn`t face another day of just sitting around there doing nothing. i get very agitated when i have nothing to do and it`s not like i have my friends to call and hang out with. having all this time on my hands is frustrating.

i think it can summed up in one word, lonely. it seems so complete. i`ve gone through this before, so i know i can survive it, but why does it seems so insurmountable now.

i need to find something to do with my time. so that the hours stop crashing against me like this. i suppose when i get an internet connection at home it will keep me better occupied, but i need to get out more.

i went out to the opening of a new club on friday night, not necessarily because it`s something i enjoyed, but it was better than sitting around at home and doing nothing. i`m not a particularly big fan of crowds and i think my days for sweatily rubbing up against people are pretty much over.

ok enough bitching. going to look for some software so i can use my palm as a remote for my tv.

 
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