because…

1. CRACK KILLS! no matter how you disguise it, plumbers butt is not fucking sexy.

2. if you`re under 18 [ok, 16] there is no one you need to look sexy for [besides see 1.]

3. your stomach is hanging over the top of your pants

4. you`re someone`s grandparent [act your fucking age]

5. you look like you`ve been ridden hard and left for dead [see 4]

i could go on but i have interview questions to answer. so in summation, hipster pants are a fucking abomination that should be outlawed. remember crack kills. stay away from the crack.

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