i just lost this cry of anguish i’d written about missing vic and the fustration of know how much longer i have to wait and lost it. i was adding a post script welcoming the newest addition to the trini [even if she displace in h’inglan] contingent here at js – rentaempress and hit the wrong combination of keys. whatever.

the crux of the lost post is that i don’t want to wait anymore, i want her to be here now. i’m tired of waiting. i tired of being patient and pleasant to fucking nimord. i’m tired of the stupid question. i’m tired of people thinking that i like this situation. i’m sitting in a job, marking time, separated from my wife, trying to keep my sanity in check on a daily basis. vic is my talisman and i need a renewal of faith.

i’m going to pay the taxes on vic’s ticket, have lunch and return these dvd. maybe i’ll be able to focus and function after lunch.

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